How It All Started and How It Led to My Worst Months

My story of who I was, and how it all came to an end, starts when I was little.

The Early Days

I was gambling from an early age, playing cards with friends using our school lunch money. Back then it felt innocent and fun. I would have never thought something so small could grow into what it later became.

From Cards to Sports Bets

As I grew older, my gambling habits grew with me. Those harmless card games turned into sports bets. I was still underage, but that didn’t stop me. I went to the bookmakers with older friends and they placed bets for me.

On the days I won, I went out partying and paid for everyone. On the days I lost, my friends would win and the party still went on. It felt normal at the time. I didn’t see the danger yet.

This was only the beginning.

The Rise of Online Gambling

As everything moved online, gambling became easier than ever. I could do it on my phone.

I started playing online poker. I won some tournaments, which pushed me to play even more. Me and my friends began going to casinos for live poker.

The problem was simple: if you drop out early, you’re waiting around. While you wait, there’s roulette, blackjack, and slots all around you.

Discovering Slots

That’s how I found slots. I lost interest in poker and sports betting. All I wanted was to play slots.

At first I’d go to the casino for a few hours and leave. That changed fast. Soon I was spending whole nights there, going almost daily. When I wasn’t in the casino, I was playing on my phone — and when I wasn’t playing, I was thinking about when I could play next.

The Calm Before the Storm (2015–2019)

Between 2015 and 2019 I had my best years. I barely gambled. I’d place a small bet here and there, maybe visit a casino sometimes, but nothing like before.

I thought I had grown out of it. I was wrong.

After 2020 Everything Fell Apart

After 2020, everything changed. I went through a divorce. It wasn’t because of gambling, I was barely gambling then, but the change left me with a lot of free time. That’s when gambling slowly crept back in.

At first it was to pass time. Then my deposits grew daily. My bets got bigger, to the point where I was betting my monthly salary in one go.

I still had a full-time job and a small eBay business, which helped keep up with my habits. Then came my first big win — £27,000. Enough to clear all my debts and start fresh.

But it didn’t end that way. I gambled it all away in a few days.

That was the first time I truly admitted to myself: I have a problem.

Trying to Stop

After that, I signed up with GAMSTOP and quit for a while. I told myself it would be enough. I ignored the red flags and hoped the problem would disappear.

A few months later, after a quick search on how to get around the ban, I was back again. And like before, it got worse.

The Worst Months

This went on for years. I had no energy left for anything else. Gambling took it all.

My eBay business, which once did well, started dying down. Cash flow dropped, but my gambling stayed the same. To keep up, I began taking out loans.

That led to the final chapter. You can read what happened next here: The Moment I Realized I Needed to Change.

Looking Back

When I look back now, I see it clearly. It didn’t start with addiction. It started with curiosity, excitement, and a few small wins. Then it grew quietly until it took over.

If you see the same signs in yourself, don’t wait for the bottom like I did. Start now. Talk to someone. Take a break. Protect yourself before it gets worse.