The Moment I Realized I Needed to Change

“If I continue like this, I’ll end up on the streets or worse.”

That was the moment I knew it was time to change.

I had taken out five different loans in a single month. Each time I told myself, “This one will consolidate my debts and make things easier,” and every time it ended the same, I gambled it away.

Before I knew it, I was behind on rent, missing loan payments, ignoring bills, and lying to myself that I could somehow fix it with one more win.

That’s when reality hit me hard. I had reached rock bottom.

Before the Realization

Maybe your situation isn’t as bad as mine was, or maybe it’s worse. Either way, remember there is always time to change.

My gambling didn’t start with huge bets or massive losses. It started small, and it slowly became part of my daily life until I couldn’t imagine a day without it. What once felt like fun had turned into something dark that controlled everything I did.

A typical day back then looked like this: I’d wake up anxious, nauseous, and full of guilt. I’d go to work, pretend everything was fine, smile when needed, and gamble every chance I got - on my breaks, after work, before bed. It didn’t matter if I was winning or losing anymore. It was just constant.

When I did win, I’d gamble it away again because the win never felt enough. When I lost, I told myself I’d win it back. I stopped eating properly, barely slept, and lost interest in everything else. Gambling was all I thought about.

The Breaking Point

After taking out my last loan and losing it all, I sat down and looked at my finances, calculated everything to the last penny. That’s when it really hit me - another loan, another bet, another loss, and I could be living on the streets.

I remember sitting there in silence for a while. It wasn’t anger I felt, it was fear. Fear of what I had become and where I was heading. For the first time, I admitted to myself that I wasn’t in control anymore. The gambling controlled me.

That night, I decided I had to stop. I didn’t know how yet, but I knew that if I didn’t act, things would end very badly.

Seeking Help

I was in the worst shape of my life, mentally and emotionally. I can’t fully describe the feeling, but it was heavy. The guilt, the shame, the stress. It was all too much. But even with all that pain, a small part of me wanted to get better.

I searched online for gambling addiction help and found Gambling Services. I was skeptical, that’s just how I am. But a few days later, I was speaking with a therapist over the phone.

That first call made everything real. It was no longer a secret I could hide. I was actually doing something about it. Talking openly helped more than I expected. The therapist pointed out patterns in my thinking, things I couldn’t see myself. She asked hard questions, questions that made me reflect instead of avoid. I didn’t have all the answers, but for the first time in years, I felt like maybe there was a way out.

Don’t Rely on One Thing

One thing I learned early on - never count on just one thing to keep you on track. Tools like GAMSTOP and self-exclusion help, but they’re only part of the process.

If you’re serious about quitting, you need to build multiple layers of protection so gambling becomes difficult to access. Block the apps and websites. Ask your bank to block gambling transactions. Tell someone you trust. Most importantly, fill your time with better habits. The less space gambling has in your day, the weaker its hold becomes.

For me, it started with small steps - going outside more, reading, exercising, cooking, or even just learning something new online. Anything that gave me back a sense of control and progress helped me heal a little at a time.

Final Thoughts

If you’re reading this and you want to change, start now. Don’t wait for things to get worse. You don’t have to hit rock bottom to turn your life around.

Seek help. Talk to someone. Be honest with yourself. The first step is admitting something isn’t right and that single step can lead to an entirely different life.

You can’t undo the past, but you can decide what happens next. Every small action adds up, even if it doesn’t feel like it at first.

If you’d like to read how I moved forward from this point and what truly helped me stop gambling for good, continue here: How I Finally Stopped Gambling for Good.